September 16, 2008

They Never Reached Their Goal

The Official Club of Ripping Down Basketball Goals

  • Primary Target: Aaron Wilson's Goal
  • Location: Mockingbird Lane
  • Approximate Height: 9 to 9 1/2 feet
  • Rating of Ripping Ability: 7 (1 - 10, Higher number=harder)
  • Any obvious cracks in structure: No
  • Brand: Dp
  • Approximate distance from house: 3 to 4 feet
  • Situation of Ripping: Bad Poor Fair Good Perfect
  • Signed: Trent Allen and Andy Crouse

For a guy who had a lawyer for a dad, this was a pretty stupid move. Trent Allen had been teasing me with threats for a period of time during our senior year. Seems he had an itchin' to rip my basketball goal off it's post, bolts & all.

"Why?" you may ask. Just because it'd be fun. To Trent. You remember Trent*... always wanting to have fun - at your expense. Well, after quite a bit of smack he finally made his fatal mistake - he documented his devious desires.

Above you'll see Exhibit A: the actual document whereby Trent (and accomplice Andy Crouse) signed off on a reconnaissance report detailing the difficulty of above stated intent (i.e., ripping down my goal). Now, I'll admit I did manipulate the image of this document... inverting the black & white colors to help you get the evil feel of the sinister, malicious nature of this crime.

Documenting your intent... this is an obvious no-no in the crime world - I mean, I would guess. It's like calling ahead to the bank before you show up to rob it - simply foolish and worthy of nothing but ridicule! But he did. And he never got caught - neither of them - for they never reached their goal.

Or should I say, they never reached my goal.

*Trent is still a dear friend and we talk regularly. Please know that this post, as well as many others are my feeble attempts at sarcasm & humor.

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